Hello again, wonderful readers. You are about to read something illegal!
…That may or may not be an exaggeration.
You see, this is Part One of a story that I am entering for Voice Week 2011. The basic idea is to post five parts to a story, which look at the same situation or person (I used the prompt, A Bride) through five different voices.
The thing is, each entrant was supposed to request for their name to be added to the competition. I did this… But a wee bit late, and so my request has not yet been confirmed. However, the idea behind this competition has enticed me enough that I am posting the first part of my story regardless, and just hoping that the good people behind Voice Week don’t suddenly come crashing through my windows in a dramatic FBI-like manner.
So here it is (she says cautiously):
* Angel in a Wedding Dress *
Part One
She looks like an angel, all blue-eyed, golden-haired beauty. For a moment, Robert sees her in her pink princess costume, laughing with delight on the swing as she squeals, “Higher, Daddy, higher!”
But then he blinks, and it is not his little princess that he sees, but Jayla, a mature and elegant woman in a silky dress.
“Are you ready, Jaybird?” Robert asks in a husky voice.
“Yes,” she says softly, smiling as he takes her slender hand within his own weathered fingers. He smiles back, and, with a breaking heart, tries to prepare for the happiest day of his daughter’s life.
- Love The Bad Guy
I love it when you post stories!
And I love it when people comment on my stories.
Cheers!
Pingback: “Angel in a Wedding Dress: 2 – The Photographer” « Love The Bad Guy
Wonderful scene. I love the nickname “Jaybird;” it shows that he still looks at her as his little girl
Thank you very much.
Pingback: “Angel in a Wedding Dress: 1 – The Father” « Love The Bad Guy « Voice Week HQ
Totally agree with WritingSprint. The contrast between the cute name “Jaybird” and the graceful, grown-up way she says “Yes” and takes his hand, reinforcing the contrast you’ve already drawn between the little princess and the elegant woman. So sweet.
I would love to come crashing through your window in an FBI-like manner, just for the opportunity of looking cool, but you got your name in just in time. : )
I think you’re cool for granting my entry to Voice Week, so it kinda balances out.
(Though if you’d still like to crash through my window in a dramatic combat roll, you may do so.)
Sweet
Any parent who’s watched their child grow into adulthood would recognize this voice…looking forward to more.
Beautiful and sentimental feel to this. Glad you entered it so we could read it.
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
Very sweet. Loved the Jaybird nickname as well. I wonder if Robert approves of the groom?
Glad you are part of Voice Week – this was a wonderful read.
It all seems so innocent and maybe it is but I’m expecting some twist (that may just be the way I think!)
Looking forward to tomorrow.
Lovely moment you created.
One thing I wondered: does a man call it a gown of silk, or silk gown, or silk dress? I wasn’t sure; you use the most romantic term so it adds a nice quality to the piece, wish I was 100% sure it is in character.
Good job!
Robin
This was a pure delight to read. It was delicate and had that charm and grace -fab way you introduced his young daughter to being the bride. Very clever! Glad you squeezed in this week.
Wow! I’ve never had so many people comment on one of my posts! Thank you all so much for your kind words and constructive criticism.
And my thanks to robinhawke – looking back, I realised I wasn’t 100% happy with that wording, either, so it has now changed. Thank you for forcing me into the head of a grown man!
Cheers, everybody.
“…hoping that the good people behind Voice Week don’t suddenly come crashing through my windows in a dramatic FBI-like manner.” Seriously laughing my arse off, I lost the plot. I hold you responsible for my 1 year old waking up.
Umm… Ooops? My bad, little one-year-old-child-of-Chris! Go back to sleep.
Pingback: “Angel in a Wedding Dress: 3 – The Bridesmaid” « Love The Bad Guy
Pingback: “Angel in a Wedding Dress: 4 – The Boyfriend” « Love The Bad Guy
Pingback: “Angel in a Wedding Dress: 5 – The Bride” « Love The Bad Guy
I enjoyed reading this. The nickanme “Jaybird” was simply adorable :]
I really enjoyed this! I hope ‘Voice Week’ goes great for you :] I wish I had as many readers as you do – but enough about me! This was fantasic :] Hands down !
Pingback: 7×7=49 and an AWARD! « Love The Bad Guy
Pingback: “Hell Beneath Us: Part One” « Love The Bad Guy