“S.M.A.I.T.H.”

I'm an InMonster!Hello readers!

It’s been far too long since I’ve written anything for Be Kind Rewrite, so here goes! This week, I’ve written a short story in response to the Inspiration Monday prompt: it’s pronounced ‘Smith’.

Alas, it was written far too quickly for my liking, but I’ve hopefully tidied it up enough to remove any gratuitous spelling or grammar mistakes. Let me know what you think!

= S.M.A.I.T.H. =

It was with some curiosity, but greater trepidation, that Phillip agreed to take Walt and the Semi-Mechanic Automated Invention of Territorial Hazing on its first mission.

“I don’t like it,” Phillip decided, tightening his fingers around his rifle. “It ain’t normal to have Goddamned robots out here fighting with us. They’ve got no sense of right and wrong, no sense of mercy. Hell, we’ll probably all be dead within the week, fallen under Smaith’s friendly fire.” He spat the name like poison and glared at the machine in question. It pounded its mechanic feet with the rhythm of a swinging pendulum, never stopping, never stumbling as it guided the two men through the thick undergrowth.

And that was another thing! He and Walt were supposed to be leading this thing on its mission, not the other way around. When the heck had it taken the lead?

Phillip frowned over at Walter, seeking agreement, but found that his young partner was entirely content. His gun was resting amiably against his shoulder as he strolled along the path formed by the machine’s giant footsteps.

Walt glanced over to meet Phil’s increasingly irritated gaze, and shrugged. “Smith,” he said absently, stepping over a tree that the Invention had snapped like a twig.

“What’d ya say?” Phillip snapped. His boot scraped awkwardly across the felled tree’s bark and he stumbled. Ahead, the S.M.A.I.T.H. paused for a fraction of a second; its mighty head swivelled 180 degrees and its reflective red eyes locked onto Phil’s hunched form. The man froze beneath the terrifyingly blank gaze, but the moment was already over—the metal head completed a full rotation and the machine marched on.

“Creepy,” Phil whispered. Walt barked out a laugh.

“He was just checking you were alright. That’s his job—protect our side; completely annihilate the other.” Walter jovially nudged his mate. “Smith will make our job that much easier, eh?”

Phillip quirked an eyebrow. “Smith? Who the hell—?” His eyes flicked to the Invention and back again. “You mean that thing? The S.M.A.I.T.H.?”

“It’s pronounced ‘Smith’,” Walter corrected.

“But it’s got an ‘A’ in it.”

“Doesn’t matter. His name is Smith. The Corporal told me so.”

Phillip snorted. “‘His’ name? It’s not a ‘him’, Walt. It’s an ‘it’, and it’s creepy as balls.”

Walt shot him a slightly disapproving look. “Don’t talk about Smithy that way; you’ll hurt his feelings.”

“Smithy?!” Phillip promptly exploded. “Feelings? Do you hear yourself when you speak?!” Walt opened his mouth to protest, but his partner barrelled on. “It’s a robot, Walt. A mindless machine that would shoot us in the head and not blink an eye. You shouldn’t trust it to do our jobs; you shouldn’t consider it as a person; and you definitely should not be giving it bloody nicknames!” Shoulders heaving, Phil resumed his glaring of the Invention’s vast, metallic back.

Beside him, Walt dropped his gaze to the destroyed foliage underfoot. The odd trio continued on in silence for a full minute.

Then Walt muttered sulkily, “’Course he wouldn’t blink an eye. He ain’t got no eyelids.”

“GODDAMN IT, WALT!” Phillip shouted, throwing his arms into the air.

In hindsight, he should have toned the volume down.

Out of nowhere came a sound like thunder; Walt yelped and fell to the dirt, abandoning his gun in favour of pressing his hand against his shoulder. Blood oozed immediately through his quivering fingers. “Phil,” he gasped. His eyes were wide and frightened, and Phillip was reminded of exactly how young the lad was.

The two of them lay low to the ground as the cacophony of war filled their ears. “We’re outnumbered,” Phil growled needlessly. Of course they were outnumbered; this was meant to be a routine run with the bloody S.M.A.I.T.H., not an assault; they hadn’t even known that the enemy had broken through their defensive lines.

“Phil?” Walt quavered again. His khaki shirt was turning red, too red, and Phillip shushed the man by pressing his hand over Walter’s own.

“It’ll be right, mate,” he promised, flinching as the tree behind them spat splinters under the bullets’ force.

Walt offered a weak chuckle. “Yeah, we’ll be fine.” A shaky grin. “We got Smithy.”

Phillip subconsciously clenched his fingers, and Walter shuddered uncomfortably beneath the too-tight pressure on his wound. The older man quickly relaxed his grip and rested a cool hand against his mate’s clammy forehead. “Nah, Walt. Ill get you out of this. Trust me. We don’t need any help from some creepy hunk of metal with a stupid name and a stupid—”

Screams sliced through the sound of gunfire, and Phillip flinched. Turning slowly, he could only stare, aghast.

Just as Walter had predicted, the Invention was completely and undeniably annihilating the enemy forces. The snipers in the distance, unseeable to Phillip’s human gaze, were swiftly silenced by a blinding green laser; simultaneously, a barrage of bullets emerging from within the S.M.A.I.T.H.’s wrists was spilling into the undergrowth, eliminating their attackers with sinister accuracy.

The Semi-Mechanic Automated Invention of Territorial Hazing was, quite literally, a killing machine, and Phillip was afraid.

But as Walt’s fearful shivering eased, comforted by Smithy’s presence, Phil grudgingly felt a sliver of gratitude. So long as he could get his partner out of here, nothing else would matter.

Amidst the sounds of chaos and panic, Phil vaguely acknowledged the sound of a rifle’s single gunshot. And then he was on the ground.

Phil,” Walter rasped. Phillip hated the sound of panic in his friend’s voice; he tried to reassure him, but the words died in his throat.

Only then did pain make itself know, blooming from his spine and spreading to every inch of his body. He groaned, but stubbornly reached out to Walter; blood pooled sickeningly across the back of his shirt.

“S’alright, Walt,” he soothed through gritted teeth. For a moment, the two men made eye contact, each willing the other to hold on. Then Walt’s eyes fluttered shut; though his chest still rose with rapid breaths, his exhaustion was winning.

And suddenly—silence.

Phil huffed a sigh as he dragged himself closer to his fallen friend and rested a hand against his chest. The reassuring thud of his heartbeat pushed against his palm.

Distantly, he heard the thud, thud, thud of long, heavy strides.

Phillip jerkily turned his head. Towering above them was the Invention; its wrists were smoking slightly and a spattering of blood canvassed its mechanic face. Those depthless crimson eyes stared into Phillip’s own, watching impassively as his life bled away.

Phil coughed, clenching his fingers into Walt’s shirt. “Come on then, you bloody thing,” he grunted. “What are you waitin’ for? Get us back to camp.” He coughed again, cringing at the wetness spreading rapidly along his back. “For God’s sake, Smaith, help us!”

With cold brutality, the Invention’s hand reached out, gripped around Phil’s wrist, and pulled. The man’s eyes widened and he screamed as his frail body was stolen away from Walt and lifted into the air. The S.M.A.I.T.H. observed him, this tiny dangling thing, with the sort of curiosity a child would offer to a mildly interesting insect. Numbness spread along Phil’s limbs and each breath grunted from his lungs. Held aloft by a single arm, he was very much aware of his vulnerability; his panic was subdued only by the darkness leaching into the corners of his vision.

A new ache stabbed through him; it took him a moment to realise he’d been dropped by the metallic beast, and now lay crumpled beside Walt.

A whirring of mechanic movement sent a spasm of fear through him; the vice-like hands returned to his vision and he whined pathetically in anticipation of the Invention’s inescapable strength.

He was ignored. With an unexpected gentleness, the massive S.M.A.I.T.H. curled its prong-like fingers beneath Walt’s fragile form and, cradling him like a small child, brought him against the safety of its steel chest.

Phil shuddered weakly as a bleak blackness wrapped around him. Despite his efforts to keep Walt in sight, his head lowered against the earth. “Walt,” he croaked. “Smaith!”

Blood was pooling and the darkness was encroaching, but there was no avoiding the cold, metallic voice that screeched through the silence.

“My name… is SMITH.”

Those red, dispassionate eyes were the last thing Phillip would ever see.

- Love The Bad Guy

BB2013-PCA-vote

Stuff No One Told Us (So I’ll Share It With You)

University is keeping me pretty busy at the moment (What a bully…), and so I’ve not had much time to write posts. Thus, I come to you with stolen awesomeness from someone else.

The blog Stuff No One Told Me contains many brilliant comics and cartoons by Alex Noriega, who shares his interpretations and realisations about the world in hilarious (and often deep) ways.

I highly recommend you head over to his blog and check out his work.

But for now, please enjoy some of my personal favourite pictures from his collection.

- Love The Bad Guy

SNOTM 1

SNOTM 2

SNOTM 3

SNOTM 4

SNOTM 5

SNOTM 6

SNOTM 7

SNOTM 8

SNOTM 9

SNOTM 10

“His Angel”

Hello all!

I’m squeezing in under the curfew for this week’s Trifecta challenge:

This weekend we’re asking for exactly 33 words including an idiom somewhere
within.  Examples of idioms include – add fuel to the fire or wear your heart on
your sleeve.  You can find more examples and a definition of idiom here.

Comments and critiques always welcome.

(And just a quick reminder, I’m still in need of votes for this year’s Best Blogs Competition!
Your support would be very much appreciated.)

His Angel

Fathers shouldn’t have ‘favourites’… But he did. Angel was the apple of his eye, cherished and adored.

His eldest daughter writhed with envy.

His youngest, his Angel, endured his roaming hands in silence.

- Love The Bad Guy

Trifecta Writing Challenge

Please Vote! (I’ll Love You Forever)

My dear readers, it’s that time of year again:

The Best Australian Blogs Competition for 2013
is now open, and I need your votes!

I’d very much appreciate if you could spare me two minutes of your time to follow this link to the Comp’s website, find and tick Love The Bad Guy (it’s on the third page), then fill in your details and submit. Too easy!

You don’t need to be Australian to vote, so if you’ve ever found yourself chuckling quietly, nodding thoughtfully or smiling appreciatively at any of my posts, I hope you’ll take a short moment to show your support. (And hey, if anyone wants to spread the word about it, I wouldn’t have a problem with that… Twitter hashtag is #bestblogs13, just in case anyone wants to know…)

Voting closes on Tuesday, 30th April.

Cheers, readers!

- Love The Bad Guy

BB2013-PCA-vote

ERMAHGERD!

Readers, I like to think of myself as a fairly well-spoken individual, but right now, all I can think to say is ERMAHGERD, NO WAAAAAAAY!!!!

You see, for the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting on some rather exciting news, and now that it’s been officially announced, I can share it with you:

I won the Take 5 and Random House Australia
Romance Writing Competition!

It was a nationwide competition, calling for writers to submit a romance story of 1000 word or less. I submitted my entry and held a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I could reach the finalists’ round, in which ten writers get the chance to have their stories voted upon by the general public.

But never in my wildest dreams could I have expected that phone call…

I won. I freakin’ won. And now, my short story—Trash to Treasurehas today been published in Take 5 Magazine (a serial that I’ve read and adored for many years now), and will soon be available for free download through Random House’s website. A few weeks back, the kind people at Random House Australia emailed me the virtual e-book cover, and let’s just say that seeing my name on that gorgeous thing sent my heart all aflutter. (Check it out down below!)

Not only that, but I’ve received $500 (my first paid publishing!), an e-reader (I’ll be sure to let you know how my experience with that goes), and a box-load of brilliant-looking books published with Random House (yes–an entire box of books, delivered right to my door. And bookworms everywhere swoon with me).

To tell you the truth, I’m still in shock, but I’m deliriously happy.

So thank you, thank you, thank you, to the lovely people at Take 5 Magazine and Random House Australia for giving writers like me a chance to be recognised. You’ll never know how happy you’ve made me.

- Love The Bad Guy

Purchase a copy of Take 5 today, Aussie readers, to find the story… and a photo of me. *le gasp!* I have a face!

EDIT 28/03/2013: Goodness me, people can now access “Trash to Treasure” on iTunes. Typing my name into the search bar brings it up. It’s sitting here on my desktop, looking at me… *swoons again*

Cover

Will You Survive the End of the World?

Three months ago, the world didn’t end, and that’s a little bit fantastic.

But what if it had? What if the Apocalypse was right here, right now, and you needed to team up with a partner to try and survive the End?

Well, I felt like procrastinating from the work I should be doing, and instead created this:

A device to tell you how the world is ending, who you’ll face it with, and the outcome.

So without further ado, I ask…

Will You Survive the End of the World?

Apocalypse

Step One: How Is The World Ending?

No one really knows, my dear friend, just quite how it all will end. So let’s find out! Look at a digital clock, and take note of whether the hour and minute numbers are even or odd at this exact moment.

  • Even:Even = Zombie Apocalypse
    (Maybe it was a cancer cure gone wrong. Maybe it was a disease maliciously spread. All you know for certain is that mindless, walking dead now walk the earth, and they hunger for your brain.)
    .
  • Even:Odd = Alien Invasion
    (They said they came in peace. They lied. Earth was ravaged by this blood-thirsty, dominating species of extra-terrestrial beasts, and they won’t rest until all humans are exterminated.)
    .
  • Odd:Even = Nuclear Warfare
    (War is a complicated thing. One country sends a nuke at another, and suddenly explosions are rife all over the world. Foolishly, humanity is headed for its own demise.)
    .
  • Odd:Odd = Natural Disasters
    (Erupting volcanoes, devastating earthquakes and annihilating tidal waves have combined in a horrific scene. Mother Earth has turned on humanity, and few have survived the onslaught.)

Apocalypse 2

Step Two: Who Is Your Partner?

Lucky you! You found a fellow survivor in the devastation and the two of you have teamed up. Use the date of your birth (that is, the day of the month on which you were born) to identify your End-of-the-World-Partner.

  1. Captain Hook (from Peter Pan)
  2. Harry Potter (from Harry Potter)
  3. Bowser (from Super Mario Land)
  4. Katniss Everdeen (from The Hunger Games)
  5. Edward Cullen (from Twilight)
  6. The Great Eagle (from Lord of the Rings)
  7. Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)
  8. Christian Grey (from Fifty Shades of Grey)
  9. The Slender Man (from Slender)
  10. Lady Havisham (from Great Expectations)
  11. Iago (from Othello)
  12. Isabella Swan (from Twilight)
  13. Lord Voldemort (from Harry Potter)
  14. The Doctor (from Doctor Who)
  15. Loki Laufeyson (from Thor)
  16. The Mad Hatter (from Alice in Wonderland)
  17. Elizabeth Bennet (from Pride and Prejudice)
  18. Albus Dumbledore (from Harry Potter)
  19. Prince Hamlet (from Hamlet)
  20. Toothless (from How To Train Your Dragon)
  21. Sir Lancelot (from Arthurian Legend)
  22. Gollum (from Lord of the Rings)
  23. Inigo Montoya (from The Princess Bride)
  24. Sherlock Holmes (from Sherlock Holmes)
  25. Bellatrix Lestrange (from Harry Potter)
  26. Thor Odinson (from Thor)
  27. Bilbo Baggins (from Lord of the Rings)
  28. Aslan (from The Chronicles of Narnia)
  29. Romeo Montague (from Romeo and Juliet)
  30. Gandalf (from Lord of the Rings)
  31. Mr Darcy (from Pride and Prejudice)

Apocalypse 3

Step Three: What Is The Outcome?

Do you and your partner overcome all the odds? Or do you crumble with the rest of humanity? Use your birth month to find out.

January:

It quickly becomes clear to you that your partner would prefer to go it alone. Your relationship becomes strained, until you awaken one morning to find yourself alone. You refuse to let this bring you down; you continue the good fight independently. Years later, as a hardened survivor, you hear word that your partner was killed mere weeks after they left. Guess they should have stuck with you…

February:

Your partner is open and friendly, immediately taking you under their wing during these horrific times. With them, you feel completely safe; however, you are concerned by their willingness to help other survivors. The two of you are often low on supplies due to your partner’s generosity. When you encounter a lone man in your travels, your partner offers their usual assistance. The man is suspicious of this kindness and blindly attacks. Your partner dies in your arms.

March:

The two of you fall quickly into a routine. Eat, sleep, travel and survive — neither of you care for much more. But perhaps you should’ve taken the time to learn more about your partner… Turns out, they resort to unorthodox methods of survival: namely, picking up lone survivors such as yourself, gaining their trust, then selling them to the highest bidder. Hope you enjoy your new life as a slave.

April:

Never allow anyone to get too close — that’s your motto, and you’re sticking to it. Nonetheless, you enjoy your partner’s companionship and are glad for their help in the midst of the devastation. However, over time, you come to realise that your partner’s feelings may not be entirely platonic. Love has no place in an Apocalypse and so, guiltily, you decide to go off on your own. You’re not sure what happened to your teammate, though you do often get the sensation of being followed…

May:

The end of the world is terrifying, and you have no clue what to do. When you team up with your partner, you rely heavily on them. Suppose it’s not surprising that they grew weary of your clingyness. They tell you they’re going to find food; they say they’ll be back soon. Six days later, you finally accept that they’re not coming back. Devastated at this betrayal, you stubbornly try to follow them, but wind up getting yourself killed. Maybe you should have paid more attention to survival techniques.

June:

It was a relationship of convenience, a means to an end, but as time went on, the two of you grew close. You are in tune with each other, and your friendship has become legendary amongst the few surviving groups that you’ve encountered. Who could have guessed that the years spent surviving an Apocalypse would be the happiest of your life? Together with your partner, you have faced, and will continue to overcome, any and all challenges presented to you. End of the world? Bring. It. ON.

July:

You first meet your partner as a starving figure, nearly dead. You come to their aid, and they begin to follow you. You pity them and try to tolerate their presence. But in truth, they are more of a hindrance than a help, and you suspect that they’ll be the end of you. You shake them off your tail and try to resume your solitary life, yet you are filled with remorse and decide to return for them… They’re nowhere to be found. You never hear from them again, and pray that they’re still alive.

August:

Sometimes it feels like you and your partner are alone in the world. Naturally, you feel a close connection, and so when you encounter another survivor – and when your partner seems to develop feelings for this survivor — you are understandable miffed. It was supposed to be the two of you against the world, but you suddenly feel like the third wheel. Feeling stubborn and hurt, you leave the two love-birds behind. You’re sure you won’t survive long… But you can’t bring yourself to care.

September:

Your partner’s survival skills leave something to be desired… But then, so do yours. You each flounder hopelessly through the barren land, trying to connect with other survivors, but ultimately always being abandoned. As a result of your mutual helplessness, the two of you bond, and agree never to leave the other behind. This is a promise kept till the end; your food runs out, no shelter can be found, and you quietly pass away. Your partner follows you not an hour later.

October:

Your partner is the embodiment of “strong and silent”, and you are never really sure what they’re thinking. However, they are a capable companion during these hard times, and you’re grateful for their presence, even if they aren’t for yours. However, it seems your partner was more fond of you than you realised. When the two of you are unexpectedly attacked, your partner pushes you behind them and savagely attacks. They are dealt a killing blow and die for your survival.

November:

When you first team up, your partner explains they’ve heard of a large survivors’ group being formed up North. It’s a long journey, but you agree to take the chance, and head off. Unfortunately, a few days into your travels, you tumble down a cliff-face and are greatly injured. Your partner refuses to leave you behind; they determinedly carry you the rest of the way. You do indeed find the Survivors’ Camp, but you pass away in your partner’s arms moments later.

December:

Though you are both initially hesitant to rely on anyone but yourselves, you soon break through each other’s defences, and a strong friendship is formed. You are thick as thieves, surviving aptly and travelling admist various groups. You never stay with other people for long though, as you prefer each other’s company. You enjoy several years of this strange contentment, but are then overwhelmed by an unexpected attack. United till the end, you and your partner fall together.

Apocalypse 1

So, how do you fare when the world comes to an end? Share your tale in the comments!

And I hope you enjoyed this little journey. If you didn’t, well… This was a really poor use of my time, huh? Procrastination, you demon, release me from your ruthless claws!

- Love The Bad Guy

“Waiting in the Smoke”

Trifecta presents us with a picture prompt this week, requesting 33 words inspired by the following image:

Photo credit: Bérenger ZYLA / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Here’s my response; comments and constructive criticism gratefully received.

Waiting in the Smoke

The smoke

chokes

and blinds us

but we cannot leave.

…..Will

……….not

……………leave

without you.

Is this Heaven? Probably not. But it could be.

…..maybe

…..soon

We will wait.

…Do you still live?

- Love The Bad Guy

Trifecta Writing Challenge