That’s Some Catch, That Catch-22

EDIT (11/02/2013): If you could now take the time to go to the Trifecta website and vote for Heller’s quote, it would be very much appreciated! Click here and look for the little Voldemort!

Trifecta Writing Challenge

This week’s Trifecta Challenge is a little bit different:

This weekend we are venturing into uncharted territories once again.  This
Trifextra isn’t so much a writing challenge; it’s more of a
reading challenge.  We want you to scour through your favorite pieces of
literature and give us the best 33 words you can find.

That’s haaaaaard. Perusing through the other entries, I can see that many bloggers shared my point of view: we all have so many favourite books, and our favourite books have so many brilliant quotes. And then there’s the challenge of finding the right quote to fit the word limit.

I feel exhausted, but I finally found a quote I love…

“No-one’s trying to kill you,” Clevinger cried.
“Then why are they shooting at me?” Yossarian asked.
“They’re shooting at everyone,” Clevinger answered. “They’re trying to kill everyone.”
“And what difference does that make?”

– Catch-22, by Joseph Heller

Catch-22 is a satirical novel set during World War II. Heller masterfully blends absurdist humour with witty insights of life and war, and this quote is one of my favourites.

If you haven’t read this classic, add it to your list!

- Love The Bad Guy

Catch-22

Endings Are Hard. So Are First Lines.

We all judge books by their covers. We know we shouldn’t, but sometimes it just happens, right? On some level, even subconsciously, our personal preferences come into play when we look at the cover of a book, and we make that ultimate decision: Is this a book I want to read?

Yeah, covers are mighty important for any author or publisher. But you know what else is important?

First lines.

Every book is different. Some will lure you in with ambiguity and subtle hints at what is to come. Others will toss you firmly into the middle of the action. But the goal is the same — hook the reader in.

If you don’t do that with the first line, you mightn’t do it at all.

Personally, I think you know you’ve found a ripper of a read when you can quote that first line (or even the first paragraph!) back to people. They’re the kinds of lines that people will remember through the ages, that your readers will use as a way of judging if they want to turn the page, or put your book back on the shelf.

No pressure.

With this in mind, I went back over some of my short stories, and decided to post their first lines. Some of them are okay. Some of them… Not so much. But that’s okay — nobody said that first lines were meant to be easy, and I shall simply endeavour to improve!

Here are a collection of my firsties:

  • “She looks like an angel, all blue-eyed and rosy-cheeked.”
  • “Happy, smiling faces are neither happy nor smiling once they start to burn.”
  • “A shrill whistle pierced the air as the monorail rattled into the station, bringing with it a peculiar scent of burnt metal and banana bread.”
  • “The Cave is all that there is, was, and ever will be.”
  • “Lucas chewed thoughtlessly on the end of his pencil, filling his mouth with the taste of painted wood.”
  • “The robot sat weeping in the corner, to the growing concern of the scientists who observed it.”

But when you struggle with finding a clincher, it’s always nice to turn to the classics. Without further ado, I present:

LOVE THE BAD GUY’S “FIRST LINE” CHALLENGE

Contestants, put your hands on the buzzers! (Or, you know… close down your Google Tab. No cheating, now!)

Below, I have typed out some of the more brilliant opening lines (only the first one or two sentences) of fiction novels — some of my personal favourites. Answers at the bottom of the post. Let me know how you all do!

  1. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a  good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
  2. “There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.”
  3. “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
  4. “It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.”
  5. “Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
  6. “All this happened, more or less.”
  7. “This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”
  8. “Mr. Utterson the lawyer was a man of a rugged countenance that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary and yet somehow lovable.”
  9. “When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold.”
  10. “Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, ‘and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice ‘without pictures or conversation?’”
  11. “My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.”
  12. “My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie.  I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973.”

So, readers, what makes a great first line? Any other personal favourites that you’d like to share?

- Love The Bad Guy

Answers:

  1. Pride and Prejudice — Jane Austen
  2. Holes – Louis Sachar
  3. 1984 – George Orwell
  4. Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
  5. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – J.K. Rowling
  6. Slaughterhouse-Five – Kurt Vonnegut
  7. The Princess Bride — William Goldman
  8. Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde — Robert Louis Stevenson
  9. The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
  10. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
  11. Great Expectations — Charles Dickens
  12. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold

“The Raven”

Hello, dear readers. As you know, every now and again I like to draw your attention to a piece of writing, not my own, which I feel is a must-read. One of these is The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. This is surely a poem that you’ve all at least heard of, but I know some would admit to never having read it. However, it is truly an excellent example of writing – the rhyming scheme, the picture he forms, it is all just brilliant. Poe really is a mastermind and an inspiration.

How is a raven like a writing desk…?

Enjoy.

The Raven

by Edgar Allan Poe (1845)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; – vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me – filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“‘Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you’”- here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning – little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as ‘Nevermore.’

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered – not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said, “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never-nevermore.’”

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking ‘Nevermore.’

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee – by these angels he has sent thee
Respite – respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! – prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted – tell me truly, I implore -
Is there – is there balm in Gilead? – tell me – tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! – prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us – by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked upstarting -
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! – quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted – nevermore!

- Love The Bad Guy

Picture taken from here

DAY 29: Book You’re Currently Reading

I’ve said before that I’ve been getting into “the classics”, and this voyage continues: I am currently reading Dracula by Bram Stoker.

I was rather keen to read this. After all, you can’t walk into a bookstore these days without seeing an entirely separate stand dedicated to “supernatural” novels, particularly those about vampires, following Twilight’s lead. But this book, Dracula, is where it all began, so I opened it up and began to read.

Imagine my amazement when I found that Dracula doesn’t sparkle. Can you believe that?!

I’m about three quarters of the way through, and so far, I can quite happily say that Dracula was well-worth the read. Thank you, Vintage Classics!

aaa

- Love The Bad Guy

DAY 28: Last Book You Read

I’ve been trying to lessen my current mountain of unread books during the holidays; after all, once I get back into the swing of uni, it is difficult to find the time to curl up with a good book and simply read, you know? (“The horror!”, indeed.) Instead of reading what I want to read, I find myself scrolling through e-reserves and flipping through text-books. I must also read the prescribed texts for my English classes, but those can be hit-and-miss; will they be good books, or won’t they? (This semester, I’m taking a Children’s Literature and Fantasy course, so the books should be rather pleasant! Hooray!)

My point is, dear reader, that with all the books I’ve been reading… I actually can’t remember what the last book was. They’ve all blurred together so much that it’s like I read all of them at the same time (…wish I could do that. That’d be sweeeeet!).

But I think the last book I read was Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson.

I’ve been trying to broaden my knowledge of “the classics” during the last few months, and seeing as I loved watching Muppet Treasure Island as a child, I figured I’d give Stevenson’s novel a whirl.

And you know what?

…I think the Muppets did it better. Sorry, Robbo, but they did. Case in point:

- Love The Bad Guy

DAY 17: Shortest Book You’ve Read

There are some books in the world that everybody knows; they may not have actually read the book, but they know the basic storyline. One of these books is Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Of course, once we finally get around to reading these classics, we can discover things about the book of which we weren’t previously aware. Perhaps we had two characters confused in our minds; perhaps we thought it was written by a different author. In the case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, I was surprised the find that the story was, in fact, squeezed into an eighty-page novella, and was not the full-length text that I had believed it to be.

But I have to hand it to Mr Stevenson: the book may have been short, but it was truly wonderful!  Way to pack everything into a small package, big guy.

- Love The Bad Guy

DAY 9: Book That Makes You Sick

The book that makes me sick is Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

aaa

Not that there are any gross or graphic scenes in the novella… I just really, really don’t like it. At all. Hence, the announcement that I was to study it at uni made me physically, emotionally and psychotically ill.

Except for that one line: “The horror! The horror!”

That line is pure gold. ;)

- Love The Bad Guy

DAY 8: Book That Scares You

I hate watching scary films because they… you know. Scare me. Because of that, I don’t really read scary books (though I have been tempted numerous times to read a Stephen King book. It just doesn’t seem right not to read at least one of Stephen King’s 378 books, right?)

However, there is one book that I have read, which, although not exactly “scary”, did have one particularly horrific scene.

 I’m talking Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. Those of you who have read it will know which scene I’m thinking of: it’s toward the end, when Winston is having a, uh… “discussion” with someone about certain fears…

Hey! Look at that beautiful balance between letting those who have read it know what I’m talking about, and not ruining it for those who haven’t. Smoooooth.

- Love The Bad Guy

DAY 7: Book That You Can Quote/Recite

My memory is rather shocking, so I can’t quote many things. But there is one book that I used to be able to recite whole passages from.

Well, technically not a book… Actually a play.

So my favourite text to read, quote and recite would have to be (or not to be…) Hamlet by William Shakespeare – hopefully a play that you’ve all atleast heard of, if not read. (And if you haven’t read it… why not? It’s brilliant!)

…Good night, sweet prince.

- Love The Bad Guy